How to Master the Polite Poker Face: Stay Cool When Facing Tough Questions

Answering tough questions is a skill. So is staying composed when facing the questions. To help people stay cool, our media training and speaker coaching practice developed a technique called polite poker face — one of our signature public speaking tips for high-pressure situations.

What’s a Polite Poker Face? And How Do I Do It?

Even if you don’t play poker, most people know a poker face: a stoic glare which makes it hard to tell what someone is thinking or feeling.

While being asked a challenging question, it’s important that your facial expressions and body language remain in the middle. It’s equally important to show care about the topic and the person asking. The art of the polite poker face combines dos and don’ts:

The Polite Poker Face: Dos and Don’ts

Poker Face: Pros and Cons in Public Speaking

Strong company spokespeople don’t show if a question or topic is bothersome. And that’s a learned skill they continuously practice.

But here’s the challenge:

• Questions can be winding roads.
• You don’t always know where the question is going.
• You don’t know if or when someone will touch on a challenging topic.

Without discipline, facial expressions or body language can suggest you or your company are frustrated. That’s why media training emphasizes not just what you say, but how you look when you say it.

A poker face can help avoid misinterpretation. If your poker face is too strong, you can come across as disinterested or not caring. The key—and what we focus on in our public speaking tips—is finding the balance: composed, but not cold.

So how do you avoid looking frozen without giving too much away? Practice your polite poker face.

Media Training Tip: Practice Makes Polished

Nodding while listening to questions is normal listening behavior. But in media interviews, for example, the stakes are too high for normal behavior. Also, everyone and every company has questions they’d rather not answer. It’s important to know what those questions are so you can practice not letting the wrong feelings show. Before you answer questions from reporters, customers, community members or others, try the following three steps:

1. Ask yourself what questions or topics bother you.
2. Tell yourself, “No matter what, I’m going to stay cool when those topics and questions come up!”
3. Practice polite poker face by having someone you trust ask “bothersome” questions.

Practice polite poker face with a trusted advisor experienced in asking tough questions, reading body language and giving honest, helpful feedback.

Want support from seasoned media trainers who coach executives to stay cool under pressure? Contact us to help sharpen your presence.